Bunnytails & Grunting Starfish
It was a quick jaunt down the island on a road with terrific ocean views and I was grateful. Grateful for not having to play dodge the cars in my nicer clothes. I had dressed up to assure my more fashionable friends that I have more than t-shirts and joggers. I was still wearing jeans, but they were a fun grass green and my shirt had buttons on it.
I had been assured by Erin that it was suitable for the evening out. She had approved my outfit weeks ago, but I had taken it a step further by being clever enough to watch the weather. I was in sensible shoes with the voice of my Dad, Everett, echoing in my head: “If you can’t be on time, at least be prepared.” He claimed that he was always prepared and a smart dresser, if he said so himself. Naturally defying him through the teenage years, I developed an unyielding passion for anything that helped me blend in.
Everett was Sue’s husband and they were my adoptive parents. They were the nicest people, but had passed suddenly a few years ago. They had been killed in an automobile accident, not far from here. Sadly, it was that repetitive and unfortunate story of a drunk tourist’s decision to drive.
I miss them. It’s why I have clung to my friends, not waiting on the fleeting and fickle nature of life to take that opportunity away. Which is also why, I took this opportunity to give them all a difficult time about their fashion choices. “Anyone regret their shoe decisions?”
“Not me.” That was Lizzie’s I told you so voice from the back. Lizzie had worn appropriate shoes, but she was looking at Zora like she had been warned. Erin and Zora fessed up to wearing daggered heels that made them at least four inches taller. And Spencer just smiled.
“Beauty is pain,” He offered as he crossed his legs showing off his newest acquisition. Spencer’s obsession with western wear had stemmed from a Halloween costume that got him lots of compliments. We were use to it, but I congratulated him on the boots. They were charcoal black leather with red stitching. They were nice, but I knew his feet were miserable. The boots looked new.
I’m always curious about people who wear tall boots outside the stage. It has always seemed a miserable way to go. Bex was lucky that I chose to wear shoes at all. I have always felt more comfortable without them. Sometimes because I liked the grass between my toes and sometimes because it had made Everett claim that I was genuinely feral. He would toss my shoes at me and remind me that going without shoes was essentially being unprepared. I got the point.
Our driver stopped, “I don’t see an open space, so I’ll pull up as close as I can.”
I thanked him and suggested to everyone in the car to, “Take it at a run and we’ll only be mostly wet.”
Everyone groaned, but I heard their doors unlatch before mine. I watched my friends scuttle from the comfort of the car, through a monsoon, to the awning of our destination, and I smiled. Tonight would be fun.
The moment we were all settled under the awning the door flung open and as we stepped inside the door, I heard, “Oh my gawd Dani!”. It was coming from our favorite local character, Carmen. She has a loud gravely voice with the thickest Bostonian accent I had ever heard. As Carmen made her way to us, she proceeded to announce to everyone who would listen that I was “finally gettin’ married!”
I laughed until Carmen got to me. She immediately grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in for a hug, but I ended up smashed into her cleavage. As I fought to breathe, Carmen squeezed harder and my back cracked in two places. She was a six foot tall Amazon who had at least 100 pounds of mass on me. Carmen had been moonlighting as a barker for the Shoreline Social Club for years. From her stories, which she’ll tell pretty much anyone, she has lived one of those rough and tumble kind of lives. The ones where the stories are so crazy they sound made up, but they’re not and even that is just brushing the surface.
I pulled my head back and tried to reason my way out of the hug but Lizzie negotiated my release, “Please don’t break her before the wedding Carmen. Bex is already going to strangle her for that shiner.”
She let go all of a sudden and I swayed on my feet, but then she grabbed my face, “Oh, Dani. What happened to yer face?!”
I looked at her with a blush creeping up my cheeks and I explained that, “I lost a fight with a bathroom shelf.”
Carmen looked at me for a long time, then shook her head, “You need to put a steak on that. Does Rebecca know?”
She let go of me and began hugging everyone else. Only Lizzie seemed uncomfortable with the hugging. That was unusual for her, but maybe she was more concerned with making room for other people. We were taking up the entire doorway and there were other patrons trying to get in out of the rain.
I smiled at Carmen shook my head, “My bride to be is currently unaware of my new accessory.”
Carmen clicked her tongue and looked at my friends, but she stopped at Spencer. “You better keep a close watch on our girl tonight stud muffin.”
Spencer stood a little taller and assured her that he’d be vigilant. Carmen grabbed me again pulling me, by my arm, closer as everyone tried to take up less space. Physical touch was undeniably her love language as she locked eyes with me again, “No way Rebecca will stay unhappy with you for long, girl. Can’t wait to see you two tomorrow.”
Then she ushered us past her into the bar. She nodded toward the people squeezing in around us and the show was on. Carmen turned on the charm for her new patrons and dismissed us, “Come on in, don’t be shy. My goodness don’t you all look hungry. Let’s talk to the hostess about that wait.”
I looked back and Carmen was juggling a crowd of people with a smile on her face and theirs too. We giggled as we made it deeper into the bar as if we knew exactly where to go and I guessed that Lizzie did. She led us past the bustling smaller tables where Zora broke off and disappeared with the promise of drinks, “I’ll get the first round.” Since none of us drink, I was curious what that would be.
We walked past the entrance to the porch where the band was setting up. They had a sign hanging that advertised The Grunting Starfish with a smug cartoon starfish. All the members of the band had grey hair and wore sailing outfits. So, I assumed we were about to hear some yacht rock, a local favorite. I read somewhere that yacht rock was what happened when smooth jazz took off its shoes, ordered a piña colada, and decided life was too short to sail against the wind.
I had stopped too gawk, when Spencer wrapped his arm through mine and smiled, “They said they could put us upstairs, but I thought that was too posh…” His words trailed off as he watched a handsome waiter walk by. His eyes lingered a little longer than was polite, so I poked him. He laughed and we turned to watch as Lizzie led us to a large table just past the door to the porch. It had a sign that read, ‘Reserved For Dani and Friends.’
I smiled, happy to be surrounded by my friends who were thoughtful enough to reserve a table, knowing all the locals would be stuffed in here. I wondered who called in a favor. We had all been around long enough to know the off-season patterns too. Most locals who wanted to get out of their homes and preferred to avoid the rain would be here. It’s a landmark and watering hole for everyone, rain or shine.
As I looked around at the smiling faces, I really felt hopeful that this would always be there for me. The thoughts must have shown in my face, because Spencer squeezed my shoulder. I knew the culprit now, but I before I could thank him, Zora returned with a tray full of fruity drinks and an arm strung with small gift bags. I asked about them immediately.
After passing out the bright red concoctions, She informed us that they were a house special called the “Bunnytail.”Zora settled in beside me, “It is a combination of whatever fruit juice the bartender had, Grenadine, lemon-lime seltzer, and a fruity garnish topped with an umbrella to… make it taller.” She put the umbrella in her hair as she tucked herself between me and Lizzie with a chuckle. She often laughed at her own jokes, which always made us laugh extra.
Zora squeezed my arm and lifted her drink in the air, “To our darling Dani and the sexiest librarian I know.”
Lizzie added, “To Bex and Dani,” as she raised her glass. Everyone followed and I felt a little heat in my face. I was and am not good at being the center of attention. I had always felt like or at least wanted to be a NPC. That stands for non-playable character, who can be in the big scenes, but off to the side. This was direct, but the moment felt special.
Together we clinked our glasses and took a healthy swig of our drinks. It was unbearably sweet, but still somehow delicious and I claimed to be a fan. Unfortunately, Zora found it challenging to swallow as she handed out the gift bags. She coughed all over one bag, so Lizzie stepped in and delivered the rest.
“What do we have here?” Erin asked as she leaned over her own bag and then mine as she tried to pretend she wasn’t nosey. I pulled my bag away to prevent her from seeing in. She scoffed and I winked at her, but was distracted as Spencer cleared his throat and looked at me.
“Now, I’m aware that this might make you terribly uncomfortable but I could not pass up the opportunity to wear one and force everyone to do the same. Promise me that you’ll consider the photographic possibilities.” He settled himself at the end of the table with a wicked grin.
I raised my eyebrow and reached into the bag, while I watched his face. Just past the tissue paper was what felt like a large ribbon and I could not begin to guess what it could be. So, I lifted it out gently while everyone looked on. It was a giant ribbon, a wide neon green sash with the words “Queerly Beloved,” written in big black block letters.
I grimaced, but I played fairly. I put it on and did my best, “I’m okay with this” smile. Spencer was elated and everyone else smiled and took it as a sign to dig into their own bags. Ribbons began to fly out and around my friends.
It wasn’t until Zora’s hair clip got caught on her ribbon, did I realize what they said. “Single & Fabulous,” which struck me as an opportunity for our reluctant friends. I watched as Lizzie came to Zora’s rescue. She swept Zora’s hair out of the way and made sure the ribbon draped neatly. Zora thanked her with a smile and Lizzie looked up at me expectantly.
I looked again at the ribbons, but this time the statement sunk in. Single. Everyone was single. Both Zora and Lizzie were single. I did the math and I believed that this had never happened before. I was suddenly sure that the moon and stars had finally aligned, so I crossed my fingers and made a quick wish to the universe. We all believed that Lizzie and Zora were meant to be together and I agreed. Especially after Bex had brought it up to me a few years ago.
One night, Bex and I had them both Zora and Lizzie over for a game night. They were invincible. They seemed to, without planning, knew each other’s patterns and made room for the other without even thinking about it. Lizzie would fill up Zora’s drink and make sure she had enough water or at least some and a snack. Zora was bad at remembering to eat, because she was always busy, but a she had fainted twice. Lizzie reminded her of that when it helped. Then Zora would nudge Lizzie out of her comfort zone or challenge her ideas, but still somehow make her feel seen and heard. They had been able to talk their way through some seriously intense discussions.
I was always impressed by that, but until Bex pointed it out as a potential bridge to a deeper relationship for them I had not seen the possibility. After, I was known to poke at a Lizzie for lusting after women who reminded me of Zora. Especially after she returned from her trip to New Orleans when Lizzie sort of upped her body count and I got worried about her. Bex said that was her subconscious desire manifesting.
“Are you single?” Erin interrupted my thoughts with her usual directness. I believed she had come to the same conclusion and couldn’t hold back her curiosity.
Zora nodded her head, but I saw a blush creep up Zora’s chest. She seemed to squirm under Erin’s scrutiny. Before I helped, I watched Lizzie who was leaned back in her chair. She had placed her arm along the back of Zora’s chair. Lizzie looked at Zora and then met my eyes. I wanted to think she understood, but I saw the hollowness that had somehow crept in lately. It was a sadness I don’t think any of us could understand, but maybe Zora could help her find the words.
I looked up at Zora who had been engaged in conversation by a local who had wondered up to the table. He seemed harmless enough, but I could see Spencer splitting is attention between the local and the cute waiter who cleaned off a table nearby. Spencer produced a small notebook from his back pocket and scribbled something on the paper. I thought he was going to share his number, but he just wrote something and tucked it back in his pocket. The waiter, who had been looking over his shoulder, stopped to watch Spencer write too.
Before anything could happen Zora’s voice pulled my attention back, “Dani?”
I looked back and met the stranger’s eyes and they were kind. I smiled and gave them my full attention. The local man cleared his throat and told us he heard about the upcoming nuptials and wanted to wish us well. He smiled and through his scruffy beard he said, “May the road rise up to meet you and may the wind be always at your back.” He lifted his beer and we all gathered our drinks to toast.
I thanked him and many of the people nearby who raised a glass with us. It was a warm feeling that left me smiling at all my friends. Had I smiled anymore, my face would have surely split wide open. I considered myself quite lucky.
As we settled ourselves around the table, the band kicked off and the bartender rolled up the porch wall. Our inside spot, was suddenly an outside spot. It had been a while since I’d attended and even here and I forgot about the garage doors that gave bands more space and more audience. I sighed and was glad to at least have a good view.
Spencer leaned over to me as they started testing their instruments, “We can try somewhere else, off the island if this is too much.”
I pondered the possibility but thought better to leave it to fate. I shrugged, “Nah, we can have fun anywhere.”
He agreed and we settled into conversations about work, life, and even dipped our toes into remembering how much we enjoyed the other’s company. That led to us telling each other how much we missed the other over burgers, deep fried shrimp, and cheesy nachos. It was a fun combination of options that you only get here. Each more greasy than the next.
The band ended up being a lot of fun, but yacht rock adjacent. They seemed like a group of guys who just enjoyed playing music with one another. Their enthusiasm was appreciated, but you could tell they were wearing down. One of them was sitting and the others were either leaning or swaying without the music. They needed a break and luckily, they took one.
As we watched them pack up someone from the Grunting Starfish hit a deep, rattling bass note that made the whole table hum. Zora jumped and her elbow knocked into her Bunnytail. The drink was launched straight into Lizzie’s lap. She shot to her feet, dripping with the red cocktail. “Fuck?!”
“I’m— I didn’t—” Zora grabbed napkins in a flurry, as she reached toward Lizzie. She quickly blotted Lizzie’s clothes. It was so abrupt that Lizzie just stood there and let her. Only when Zora blotted the spots on Lizzie’s chest, did she realize. Zora froze with her hand pressed to Lizzie’s breast. She looked up and met Lizzie’s surprised face. But before she could get embarrassed Lizzie grinned, “It’s okay.”
She took the napkin from Zora gently, squeezing her hand a little as Zora sheepishly looked back.
“That’s going to stain,” Erin unhelpfully interrupted to point it out.
I poked her, “That’s not helpful Erin.”
She recoiled offended, but I just shook my head and looked at Zora who was fighting back the embarrassment. Lizzie sighed and added, “I’m not going to be much help either, I’m afraid.” She had our attention as she continued, “This might be the only shirt I brought to wear.”
I could feel my eyes get big, but I was glad that we too were local. Lizzie looked at her watch and added, “I’ll have to run home for something.”
“No you won’t.” This from a the waiter who stopped to check our table. “King tide has the main road flooded and it’s still coming down. You aren’t going anywhere.” He looked around the table, but settled on Spencer, “Sorry… I’ll get your check.” He tried smiling at Spencer, but Spencer didn’t see it.
As he walked away, we were all quiet. We tossed around a few ideas as we tried to devise a new plan. Then I felt the air shift, a strange pressure pushing at my ears. The voices in the room seemed to dull for a second, and when I glanced down, the spilled drink wasn’t spread randomly. It was moving. I watched the floor as the puddle stretched, winding into a shape that was unmistakable: a star, curling toward the foot of my chair.
Spencer leaned in, eyes bright and concerned, “You all see that, right? Tell me you see that.”
“It’s just a spill,” Lizzie muttered, but I wasn’t so sure. That’s when I got chills down my arm. It felt like someone had brushed by me. I looked and saw Erin looking directly at me. She smiled wickedly and started to speak, but I threw up my hand.
“Erin, please don’t.” I begged her not to make a scene, but it felt like I was delaying the inevitable. She surprised me and remained silent. Erin was up to something, I knew that, but refocused we had other issues now. I searched my brain for a solution and found Mabel’s Market. I hoped that it might still be open. “Do you think that Mabel’s would have anything to get out the stain?”
Everyone seemed onboard and we started packing up. Lizzie, looking at Zora, added, “They have a little bit of everything. I’m sure we’ll find something.”
Spencer asked with a flourish, “Shall we ride, ladies?”
We gathered our things and adjusted our sashes. I thought we were out of the woods and heading toward a solution, but Erin asked. “What if we don’t have to stop there? Let me get rid of the stain for you.”
Lizzie and I locked eyes, but I could only shrug. I had seen her do it successfully once, but as a rule we never wanted Erin to try her witchy ways. You could feel the apprehension rise, so I gave in, “I have seen her do this one.”
The reluctant support was all Erin needed to perk up. She smiled, “I can handle stains in my sleep and all I need is a mermaid’s tear and a virgin goat’s blood.”
Everyone fell silent, but jumped when Erin burst out laughing. She had tried for a joke, so I offered a chuckle to help everyone see she was not serious. Unfortunately Spencer’s earlier gift was settling into my system. I had a good belly laugh at everyone’s expense.
It must have been the release we needed in the moment, because we all burst into laughter that only slowed when the waiter returned with the receipt. He handed it to Spencer and when Spencer gave him a promising smile he got brave. He pointed to the receipt as he said, “I hope you all stay dry tonight, but…” The waiter made sure he had Spencer’s attention and added, “Should you need anything my number is at the bottom.”
Our charming boy smiled as the waiter walked away a little taller. Like school kids we teased him, but Spencer simply ran his hands through his hair and stuck out his chest. We all laughed and arranged the table for easy cleaning.
As everyone walked toward the door, I looked at the floor. The puddle sat unchanged on the floor, and I wondered if I were reading into things. It could have been an oddly sloping floor or any number of things. I pushed down the narrative internally, but couldn’t help but draw a connection between my incident in the bathroom and this star puddle business. I lingered only a moment before following my friends out the door.
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